you break into song every time you see fire
you take out a second mortgage to afford your troop
you automatically shake with your left hand
you raise your hand and make the scout sign to get attention in a crowd
you read the Scout Bulletin before the newspaper
you take all your vacations around camp dates
you go straight to the camping section when you go out shopping
you spend more on tin foil, charcoal and gas than your entire wardrobe
your favorite magazine is the Scout Catalogue
you have to send your camp blanket on a different plane because of the weight
your camp blanket weighs more than all the troop gear
you own more than 3 different kinds of compasses
your idea of a religious ceremony is either getting out, or putting away, your camp blanket
you go to a Jamboree, and you pack more crests for trading than you do clothes
you won't take 3 minutes to sew on a button, but you will take 3 days to sew on all your crests after a Jamboree
your collection of famous literature in your library consists of songbooks and craft books
you know every chili recipe
your idea of haute cousine is a bib, a campfire, and extra beans, onions and hot peppers in the chili
your troop proves to you that lunchables are a main staple
your troop proves to you that you can get more youth into a 9 x 9 tent, than into a 14 passenger van
your troop proves to you that Murphy doesn't lie
your bible is a book on B.P.
you visit bulk stores before grocery stores
you can survive an entire week of camping on 1 hour of sleep
you can't go past a group of youth without arranging them into a horseshoe
you learn that there are more than the 4 basic food groups
you like coffee that is thicker than road tar
you're engaged, and you wait to book your wedding date until after the camp dates are all set up
you have pictures of your troop, but not of your wife
your idea of a suit and tie is your camp blanket and beads
you enjoy winter camping in tents
you call every one "Scouter" instead of their name
you remember all Scouting special moments, but not your anniversary
You buy that '89 Chevy Caprice because you really like that fleur de lis
hood ornament.
Your favorite color is "olive drab".
You decide to lash together the new deck on the back of your house.
You plan to serve foil meals at your next dinner party.
You walk the streets in broad daylight with a coffee cup and flashlight
hanging from your belt.
You raise your hand in the scout sign at a heated business meeting.
You were arrested by airport security because you wouldn't give up your
official Scout pocket knife until the cop said "thank you".
You didn't mind losing power to your house for three days.
Your friends hide their copy of the Leader from you.
Your plans for remodeling the bathroom include digging the hole deeper.
You trade your 25 foot center console fishing boat in on that great little
`15 foot canoe.
Your favorite movie is "Follow Me Boys" staring Fred MacMurry, and you spent
months trying to convince Disney to release it on home video.
You managed to find that 8th day in the week.
Your patron saint is Ward Cleaver.
You disconnect the automatic dishwasher in favor of the "3 pot method."
You sneak a cup of "bug juice" after the troop turns in for the night.
You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together.
Latrines at camp start becoming comfortable.
You felt you won a moral victory when BSC brought back knee socks
You think campaign hats are cool.
You gave your wife a mummy bag rated for -18 deg C for Christmas.
You name one of your kids Baden.
Your favorite tune is "Camp Granada" (hello mudda.....hello fadda) by Allen
Sherman.
You can recite the 12 points of the Scout Law backwards, in order, in 3
seconds flat.
You bought 10,000 shares of Coleman stock on an inside tip they were about
to release a microwave accessory for their camp stove line.
You can't eat eggs anymore unless they are cooked in a zip-locked bag.
You plan to get rich by writing a best selling Dutch Oven cook book.
You took a chemistry course at the local college to help you develop a
better fire starter.
You actually own a left-handed smoke shifter.
The height of your social season is the district recognition dinner.
A trip to National Headquarters is a pilgramage.
Your are convinced the center of the universe is Baseline Road, Ottawa.
The sales operators at the Scouts Custom Factory's 866 number recognize
your voice.
Singing "Scout Vespers" makes you cry uncontrollably.
You were disappointed when the Leader magazine didn't win the Pulitzer Prize
last year.
The Scouts in your troop chipped in to have you abducted by a professional
cult de-programmer.
