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So Let us drink-a, drink-a, drink,
To Lydia Pinkham, Pinkham, Pink.
The savior of the human race.
She invented a vegetable compound
Twas efficacious in every case.
Here's a story, a little bit gory,
A little bit happy, a little bit sad.
Of Lydia Pinkham and her vegetable compound,
And how it drove her to the bad.
My brother Bob, he was quite a slob,
He used to drool all over town.
'Til they gave him vegetable compound,
And in a week he almost drowned.
Johnny Hammer, had a terrible stammer.
He could barely say a word.
So they gave him vegetable compound,
Now he's seen but never heard.
Oh, Uncle Paul, he was so small.
He was the shortest man in town.
'Til they rubbed him with vegetable compound,
Now he weighs but half a pound.
A lady named Gwen had no children.
She was barren we did fear.
'Til they gave her vegetable compound,
Now she delivers twice a year.
Ebenezer thought he was Julius Caesar,
So they put him in a home.
There they gave him vegetable compound,
Now he's emperor of Rome.
Poor Lydia died and went to heaven.
All the church bells they did ring.
But she took along her vegetable compound,
Hark, how the Herald Angels sing!