Song Database

Mary had a little Lamb

Mary had a little Lamb, 
She fed it castor oil, 
And everywhere that Mary went 
it fertilized the soil. 

Mary had a little Lamb, 
She also had a duck, 
She put them on the windowsill 
To see if they would fall off. 

Mary had a little watch 
She swallowed it one day 
And so she took some castor oil 
To pass the time away. 

The castor oil it did not work 
The watch refused to pass, 
So if you want to know the time, 
Just look up ... at the clock. 

Mary had a little Lamb, 
It followed her to school, 
They tied a brick around its neck 
And drowned it in the pool. 

Mary had a bicycle, 
She rode it back to front, 
And every time she turned a bend 
The spokes went up her leg. 

Mary had a little Lamb, 
She took it to the zoo, 
It got raped by an elephant 
And had a kangaroo. 

Mary had a little Lamb, 
Her father shot it dead, 
She still takes the lamb to school 
Between two bits of bread. 

Mary had a little Lamb, 
You've heard that tale before, 
But have you heard she passed her plate 
And had a little more. 

Mary had a little lamb 
She tied it to a pylon 
10 000 volts shot up its ...leg 
And turned its wool to nylon 

Mary had an little lamb 
It danced in skips and hops, 
It danced into the road one day 
And ended up as chops 

Mary had a little lamb 
She also had a bear 
I've often seen her little lamb 
But I've never seen her bare. 

Mary had a little dress 
Its seam was split up high 
And every where that Mary went 
The boys could see her thigh 

Mary had another dress  
Its seam was split up front 
But she never wore that one! 

Mary had a little lamb 
The doctor was surprised 
But when Old McDonald had a farm
He couldn't believe his eyes

Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was black as soot 
And everywhere that Mary went 
Its sooty foot he put.

Mary had a little lamb 
Its fleece was white as snow 
Maar 'n ram het die lam gevang 
En kyk hoe lyk hy nou!

They sat upon the grassy bank 
And she was all a-quiver... 
He undid her suspender belt 
And her leg fell into the river!

Mary had a little lamb 
and tied it to the heater, 
every time it turned around 
it burned its little peter! 

Mary had a little lamb 
She ate it with mint sauce 
And everywhere that Mary went 
The lamb went too, of course 

Mary had a little lamb, 
And it was always grunting. 
She tied to the garden fence, 
And kicked it's ... favourite soccerball

Mary is a proper girl, 
She goes to church on Sundays. 
She prays that she will have the strength, 
To chase the boys on Mondays. 

A peanut sat on a railroad track 
His heart was all a-flutter 
A chooka train came round the bend, 
TOOT TOOT Peanut butter. 

A hen and a chicken went for a walk 
Just to stretch their legs, 
A motorcar came round the bend, 
TOOT TOOT Ham and eggs. 

Oh! the night was dark and dreary, 
The air was full of sleet, 
The old man stood out in the storm, 
His shoes were full of feet. 

Oh! Mosquito he fly high, 
Mosquito he fly low, 
If old man 'Skeeta light on me, 
He ain't gonna fly no more. 

Oh, of all the fishes in the sea, 
My favorite is the bass, 
He climbs up in the seaweed trees, 
And slides down on his hands and knees. 

An old man lay down by a sewer 
And by a sewer he died. 
Now, at the coroner's request, 
They called it sewer-side. 

A golf ball sailin' thru the air, 
Whizzed by a man a hummin' 
He heard a caddy holler, "Fore!" 
An' he thought three more were comin'. 

"The way to tell the twins apart," 
The proud father said, 
"I put my finger in Willie's mouth, 
If he bites it, then it's Ned." 

When boating, never quarrel, 
For you'll find, without a doubt, 
A boat is not the proper place 
To have a falling out. 

"The coffee is exhausted, Sir." 
The diner was advised. 
Says he, "It's been so weak of late, 
I'm really not surprised." 

There's a gal up in the hills, 
She's awfully shy and meek, 
She undresses in the dark 
Because the mountains peak. 

Mary had a steamboat; 
The steamboat had a bell. 
Mary went to heaven, 
The steamboat went "Toot, toot." 

When Mary had a little lamb, 
The doctor almost cried. 
But when Ol' MacDonald had a farm, 
The doctor almost died. 

Said baby tern to mother tern, 
"Can I have a brother." 
"Yes" said mom to baby tern, 
"One good tern deserves another." 

Oh for a home where the buffalo roam, 
Where the deer and the antelope play. 
Where seldon is heard a discouraging word, 
For what can an antelope say?