A Compendium from various sources.
- The first person calls from out of sight "Hey Fred, look! I'm
in the top of a 100 foot tall tree."
The second person: "But Joe, we don't have any 100 foot tall trees in camp.
First person: "Oh noooo....", screams as he is falling.
- 1st person: "Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?"
2nd person: "I don't know. i'm new to these parts too."
- Two boys playing quick draw:
1st boy: "My Scoutmaster (Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any
man in the West."
2nd boy: "Really?" What do they call your Scoutmaster."
1st boy: "Toeless Joe."
- 1st boy: "I heard you had an accident on your hike today."
2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."
1st boy: "You don't call that an accident."
2nd boy: "Heck no, he did that on purpose."
- DRAG: Have two boys drag a third boy across the stage.
The third boy says: "What a drag!"
- Big Chief: Bring in 10 scalps, kill 5 buffalo bare handed and go into
desert without water for a moon. Then I will pronounce you Big Brave. You
Indian Brave: Yes. What do I do to get pronounced Little Brave.
- A boy walks acoss stage carrying a car door. He is asked why he is
carrying the car door. The boy answers so that he can roll down the
window when it gets hot.
- The scene is a courtroom scene with one person as the judge. A person
walks through the court carrying a sign or a shunk stuffed animal. The
judge watching says: "Odor in the court! Odor in the court!"
- The three boys are in a line facing the audience.
Second Boy in Line: This story begins with "Once upon a time"
First Boy: Hey, wait a minute, I'm the beginning.
Middle Boy: I'm the middle.
Last Boy: That's nothing I'm the end.
- A boy is sitting on the bake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO
FISHING sign nearby. The game warden appears.
Fisherman: Are you the game warden.
Game warden: Yep!
Fisherman:Just teaching him how to swim(pointing to the worm on the pole)
- (Boy runs on interupting leader): "We interrupt this program for an
important news flash." Turns flashlight on and off, shining it in the
audience's eyes. Most effective at a campfire.
- 1st Scout: Say wasn't there a rap at the door?
2nd Scout: I didn't hear anything.
1st Scout: Yes, I'm sure there was a rap at the door!
2nd Scout: I'm sure I didn't hear anything.
The first scout then goes to the door and brings in a coat and
tells the audience as he holds it up for them to see. I knew there was a
wrap at the door.
- 1st Scout: I went fishing last week.
2nd Scout: What did you catch?
1st Scout: Three bass and one smelt.
2nd Scout: It did? Which one?
- A group of boys are discussing a football game.
1st boy: I sure hope that the ________ wins.
2nd boy: Well I'm sure that _________ will win.
3rd boy: Why ______ will beat them 40 to nuthin'.
4th boy: I can you the final score of the game before it starts.
The Others: Oh Yeah? You're not that smart.
4th boy: Nuttin' to Nuttin' of course (The others chase him off.)
- First Scout: I bet I can jump higher then a house.
Second Scout: I bet you can't.
First Scout: Yes I can. Did you ever see a house jump.
- Leader: I can make everyone in the audience into an old fashioned Indian.
Leader: (Leader raises right hand and then says, "How!")
- Why are you pulling that rope for? Did you ever try to push one.
- Wire for Mr. Jones. I'm Mr. Jones. The clerk hands him a piece of wire.
- Two guys talking, first asks the second where he is going; second says
fishing. First asks second what he has in his mouth and the first says
worms. The first guy says good luck and slaps second guy on the back.
- Radio Announcer: We interrupt this program for a spot announcement.
Dog (offstage): Arf! Arf! Arf!
Announcer: Thank you, Spot.
- Scout 1:(running on stage) "They're after me!"
Scout 2: "Who's after you."
Scout 3: "The squirrels! They think I'm nuts!"
- Librarian: "Please be quiet, young man. The people near you can't even
Scout: "Then what are they doing in a library?"
- Scout 1: "Did you hear how my mother strained herself."
Scout 2: "No, how did she manage to do it?"
Scout 3: "She ran through a screen door."
- Fortune Teller: "That will be $20 for two questions."
Client: "Isn't that a lot of money for two questions?"
Fortune Teller: "Yes, it is. Now what is your second question?"
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