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The Thing

 
As I was walking down the beach one bright and sunny day
I saw a great big wooden box a-floatin' in the bay
I pulled it in and opened it up and much to my surprise
I discovered a -, -,-right before my eyes!
Oh, I discovered a -, -,-right before my eyes!

I picked it up and ran to town as happy as a king
I took it to a guy I know who'd buy most anything
But this is what he hollered at me as I walked in his shop
"Oh, get out of here with that -, -,-before I call a cop!"
"Oh, get out of here with that -, -,-before I call a cop!"

I turned around and got right out a-runnin' for my life
And then I took it home with me to give it to my wife
But this is what she hollered at me as I walked in the door
"Oh get out of here with that -, -, -, and don't come back no more"
"Oh get out of here with that -, -, -, and don't come back no more"

I wandered all around the town until I chanced to meet
A hobo who was looking for a handout on the street
He said he'd take most any old thing, he was a desperate man
But when I showed him the -, -, -, he turned a-round and ran
But when I showed him the -, -, -, he turned a-round and ran

I wandered on for many years, a victim of my fate
Un-til one day I came upon Saint Peter at the gate
And when I tried to take it inside he told me where to go
"Get out of here with that -, -, -, and take it down be-low!"
"Get out of here with that -, -, -, and take it down be-low!"

The moral of this story is; if you're out on the beach
And you should see a great big box, and it's within your reach
Don't ever stop and open it up, that's my advice to you
'Cause you'll never get rid of the -, -,-no matter what you do!
'Cause you'll never get rid of the -, -,-no matter what you do!