The Skit Library S

A Compendium of Skits from various sources.
A|B|C|D|E|F|G|H|I|J|K|L|M|N|O|P|Q|R|S|T|U|V|W|X|Y|Z

School's on Fire

Scout wanders through area several times holding a glass of water: When asked what he is doing, he replies that the school is on fire. Leader: How do you expect to put the fire out with a tiny glass of water?" Boy answers, "this ain't water, it's gas.

Scientific Genius

The scene is the launching pad of a large rocket which can be cut from a large piece of cardboard. There is an elaborate countdown, but the rocket fails to go off at zero. All those present inspect it and check on a number of highly-scientific-sounding devices the supersonic sector wire; the exhaust fin fanstand; the sub-stabilizer exidizer, etc. All seem perfect. Finally the smallest boy says: "I've found the trouble. Somebody forgot to put in the fuel.

Singer

A guy comes on stage singing in a terrible voice. He acts pompous to a friend saying how is such a great singer. Friend says that he had better quit because of poor health, not the singers, but everyone elses.

Six Wise Travelers

The six wise travelers came to a river and discuss ways to get across. One of them sees a boy with a boat and asks him to take them across. the boy says they can use the boat, but he will not take them across. The travelers all get in the boat and it sinks. They scramble out of the river and count themselves, but do it wrong and come up short a person. This can be done more than once. They tell the boy if he can find the missing traveler they will give him a bag of gold. The boy counts them. gets it right, they give him the gold telling the boy how good he is and that maybe he will grow up to be as smart as they are. The travelers then jump in and swim across the river.

Sour Notes

The director tunes up the orchestra or chorus and they begin to make music. One by one each player hits a sour note. Each time the director gets upset and throws the player offstage. Repeat until only the accompanist and the director is left. The director then turns to the accompanist and begins a solo. The director hits a sour note and the accompanist jumps up and throws the director off stage coming back on stage with a smug look on his face, bows to the audience and exits.

Slug Trainers

Several slug trainers bring on their trained slug and deposit it in the stage center. The slug is a person encased in a sleeping bag. On command the slug performs various trick such rolling over, leaping in the air slightly, etc. A volunteer is brought from the audience and is told that the slug is trained to crawl over the human body. The volunteer lays down and the slug crawls across him leaving a dribble of water or brown cotton balls. The trainers apologize and exclaim, "Sorry, but our slug isn't potty trained."

Soldier In the Battlefield

This skit can be played by just one person, or you can use two. A person in battle dress falls on the ground moaning that he is about to die. The orderly kneels over him frantically trying to record his name for the records. He keeps on asking his name, but he is in too much pain to bother with his name and keeps on asking for help. In desperation the orderly tells the soldier that he is dying and that he needs his name to tell his mother. The soldier reply that his mother already knows his name.

Spelling Contest

Contestants have numbers on their shirts and the judges have badges to distinguished them from the contestants. Need a list of spelling words, toy guns (or hand if necessary) and a trophy. There are two judges and four contestants. Judge #1 asks are you ready for the annual spelling contest. The contestants say yes and Judge #2 tells them good luck and let's begin. The first contestant steps forward misses the word and is shot by the judge. Second contestant steps forward, spells the word, the judges confer, answering right. The third contestant spells the word wrong and is shot. Contestant #4 comes forward spells his word, the judges confer, say he is wrong and one raises the gun to shoot him. Contestant #4 tells the judge wait, he is sure the word is spelled right. The judges confer again, say the contestant is right and they are wrong and shoot themselves. Contestants #2 and #4 say that they guess that means they both win and walk off together with the trophy.

SPRING

Gather to the front of the group some people to be trees, birds, and babbling brooks. Then ask for a volunteer to be the most important part, the hero. When he comes to the front, have him run among the trees. Have a little narrative and then say; "Maybe the rest of you wonder when we know it's spring; that's easy, because the sap is running through the tress."

Statues in the Park

The scene opens with a statue (boy, standing still) posed as a famous statue such as The Thinker or The Discus Thrower. Another person introduces himself as Dr. Arthritic Kneecap of the University of Amputation and Mutilation. He talks about having discovered a formula to revitalize calcium deposits; even would work on this statue he says. The doctor pours the bottle on the statue and it slowly comes to life. The statue and the professor talk about being alive. The doctor then asks the statue what is the first thing you want to do. The statue says that he wants to kill 5,000 pigeons with his bare hands.

Submarine (Version 1)

Get one volunteer from the audience and the den/patrol lines up sitting in a straight line with the volunteer at the end. The scout in front (Captain) looks through his periscope and yells, "Enemy Ship!" which is repeated down the line. The Captain then issues the following commands which are repeated down the line: "Fire Torpedo One!...."We Missed!"...."Fire Two!"..."We Missed!"...."Fire Three!"...."We Missed Again, You Blockhead"...."Enemy Torpedo Coming our Way!"...."We've Sprung a Leak"....as the last command is repeated the next to the last person throws hidden confetti on the last person in line; the volunteer.

Submarine (Version 2)

This version uses a similar format to format one with the same commands being given, but the following changes occur: The scouts are standing in a row instead of sitting. When the command comes to fire the torpedo one comes, the last person in line says, "I don't know how" which is repeated upline. The captain says, "Pull the red chain, push the blue knob" and pulls on the person's nose for pulling the chain and pushes his chest for pushing the knob. This is repeated down line. This procedure is repeated for each torpedo firing. When the captain exclaims "We missed again you blockhead" the crew jumps up and down and cheers. The captain says, "No, that is bad", to which the crew hang their head and groan. On the last command, when the captain finds out they have failed and have been hit, he takes out a gun (hand like a fist with thumb up and first finger out) and shoots himself, falling down dead. This is repeated down the line to the last person who looks at the gun with a confused expression and says, "I don't know how !"

Return to Index