The Skit Library M

A Compendium of Skits from various sources.
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Mad Reporter

The scene is a bridge where a very depressed reporter is about to jump off (the end of the stage or a platform could be the end of the bridge). The reporter says that he has had it, can't get a big story, all washed up and wants to end it all. He calls out, one, two, swinging his arms when another person shows up and asks what is going on. He tells him his sad story which encourages him to tell him his; they both get depressed and decide to jump. They call out, one, two, and another person shows up. They each tell this person their sad story and he decides to jump to. Once more they call out One, ... Two, ... Three ! All the people jump except for the reporter who runs off saying; "I've got a great story, two people jump off the bridge. Wait until the boss sees this." A building could be used as well as a bridge.

The Magic Bandana

Two guys come out, one is the magician, one his not so smart assistant. The magician introduces his act and sends his assistant to a table behind him. The magician facing the audience tells Herkimer to do exactly as he says. There is a table by Herkimer which has a bandana and a banana. The magician asks Herkimer to pick up the bandana and to perform various actions such as put the bandana in his right hand, fold it in half, fold the four corners together, stuff it in his left fist and upon one, two, three, it will disappear. However, Herkimer, picks up the banana, not the bandana and performs these actions. At the end when Herkimer is supposed to show his fist, for the disappearance of the bandana, he throws the mashed up banana at the magician instead. The magician chases him offstage.

Martian Mamma

Mamma is washing dishes, back to baby. Baby says that he wants a drink. "Right in front of you dear", says mamma. Baby picks up green drink. Baby says that he wants Martian Cream Pie, getting real pushy, aggressive, and bratty; throwing the drink on the floor. Baby tells mamma that he spilled his comet juice. Mamma turns around putting out two fake arms telling the baby that she only has four arms.

Medical Genius

Setting is the office of a famous psychiatrist. He is seated behind a table. Nurse brings in a patient with a flowerpot on his head. Another patient enters and runs around, waving his arms as if flying. Next patient keeps brushing his clothes and complains about bugs crawling on him. Doctor says: "For heaven's sake, don't brush them off on me.!"

Military Genius

Sergeant is drilling a group of uniformed men, who are a pretty sloppy lot - shoestrings untied, shirt tails out, collars unbuttoned, hats at odd angles etc. Sergeant drills in a march, but they go in the wrong directions, trip while turning, and so on. Finally, he has of the group marching left and the other half marching right. He instructs them to reverse direction and turn and march toward each other. Instead of passing between each other, they meet head on and all fall down. Sergeant weeps bitterly into a large handkerchief, steps among the prostrate bodies and pretends to jump up and down on them.

Mixed Body Acting

Fasten a shirt backwards around the first person's neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second person stand behind the first and put his arms through the shirt sleeves. A sheet is held by two others behind the head of the singer hiding the second person. As the first person sings, the second person gestures with his hands. This can be done with more than one singer. Variation 1: Instead of singing have the second person trying to do various ordinary acts such eating from a bowl, tying shoes, cooking such as cracking eggs (on the narrator as one possibility) etc.

Mixed Up Magic

Child is told to clean room. The child hates to clean his room so he gets out his book of magic spells and use one to clean the room. Unfortunately, the room gets worse with clothes etc. thrown in from offstage. This happens again twice. The child decides he might as well clean up this mess and proceeds to do so. When the room is finally clean, the child is ready to throw the magic book in the garbage. The child talking to himself says, "Enough of this Hocus Pocus". More stuff flies in. The child moans not again !

Musical Genius

The announcer makes a flowery introduction about how fortunate the audience is to have the opportunity to hear the splendid vocal group about to perform. After the introduction, the group marches onto stage and lines up across the front. The announcer states that their first number will be that appealing ballad "The Little Lost Sheep". Following a short musical introduction, singers open their mouths and produce a long, loud "Baa-a-a".

Musical Toilet Seat Salesman

A scout is a door to door salesman, selling Musical Toilet Seats: If you have some cardboard make props like toilet seats. Salesman approaches each home knocks on the door and sells the seat:
Salesman: "Good morning sir, I like to show you the newest thing in electronic technology. My company has developed the new musical toilet seat. Would you be interested in buying this modern day marvel?"(ham this up, plead beg, ect. be a door to door salesman) Customer 1: "Do you have one that plays Dixie?" Customer 2 asked for "Eat the Rich" . Customer 3 asked for "Star Spangled Banner" Salesman, I sure do, Here it is, I hope you like it. I'll come back tomorrow to make sure you are satisfied."
The next day the Salesman goes back and asked of each customer: How did you like the musical toilet seat.? Customer 1: "It was great, it played dixie and I sat there with a bucket of fried chicken enjoying each note. Customer 2: "It was great. I listen to the music while I read a copy of the Rolling Stone magazine." Customer 3: "I hated it, It just did not work out.
Salesman responds to Customer 3: "we have never had an unsatisfied customer, what went wrong? Customer 3: " It's that music. "Every time I sit down on the toilet, it starts playing the Star Spangled Banner and I have to stand up again!"

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