The Skit Library M
A Compendium of Skits from various sources.
Mad Reporter The scene is a bridge where a very depressed
reporter is about to jump off (the end of the stage or a
platform could be the end of the bridge). The reporter says that
he has had it, can't get a big story, all washed up and wants
to end it all. He calls out, one, two, swinging his arms when
another person shows up and asks what is going on. He tells him
his sad story which encourages him to tell him his; they both
get depressed and decide to jump. They call out, one, two, and
another person shows up. They each tell this person their sad
story and he decides to jump to. Once more they call out One,
... Two, ... Three ! All the people jump except for the reporter
who runs off saying; "I've got a great story, two people jump
off the bridge. Wait until the boss sees this." A building could
be used as well as a bridge.
The Magic Bandana Two guys come out, one is the magician, one
his not so smart assistant. The magician introduces his act and
sends his assistant to a table behind him. The magician facing
the audience tells Herkimer to do exactly as he says. There is a
table by Herkimer which has a bandana and a banana. The magician
asks Herkimer to pick up the bandana and to perform various
actions such as put the bandana in his right hand, fold it in
half, fold the four corners together, stuff it in his left fist
and upon one, two, three, it will disappear. However, Herkimer,
picks up the banana, not the bandana and performs these actions.
At the end when Herkimer is supposed to show his fist, for the
disappearance of the bandana, he throws the mashed up banana at
the magician instead. The magician chases him offstage.
Martian Mamma Mamma is washing dishes, back to baby. Baby says
that he wants a drink. "Right in front of you dear", says mamma.
Baby picks up green drink. Baby says that he wants Martian Cream
Pie, getting real pushy, aggressive, and bratty; throwing the
drink on the floor. Baby tells mamma that he spilled his comet
juice. Mamma turns around putting out two fake arms telling the
baby that she only has four arms.
Medical Genius Setting is the office of a famous psychiatrist.
He is seated behind a table. Nurse brings in a patient with a
flowerpot on his head. Another patient enters and runs around,
waving his arms as if flying. Next patient keeps brushing his
clothes and complains about bugs crawling on him. Doctor says:
"For heaven's sake, don't brush them off on me.!"
Military Genius Sergeant is drilling a group of uniformed men,
who are a pretty sloppy lot - shoestrings untied, shirt tails
out, collars unbuttoned, hats at odd angles etc. Sergeant drills
in a march, but they go in the wrong directions, trip while
turning, and so on. Finally, he has of the group marching left
and the other half marching right. He instructs them to reverse
direction and turn and march toward each other. Instead of
passing between each other, they meet head on and all fall down.
Sergeant weeps bitterly into a large handkerchief, steps among
the prostrate bodies and pretends to jump up and down on them.
Mixed Body Acting Fasten a shirt backwards around the first
person's neck, leaving the sleeves empty. Have a second person
stand behind the first and put his arms through the shirt
sleeves. A sheet is held by two others behind the head of the
singer hiding the second person. As the first person sings, the
second person gestures with his hands. This can be done with
more than one singer. Variation 1: Instead of singing have the
second person trying to do various ordinary acts such eating
from a bowl, tying shoes, cooking such as cracking eggs (on the
narrator as one possibility) etc.
Mixed Up Magic Child is told to clean room. The child hates to
clean his room so he gets out his book of magic spells and use
one to clean the room. Unfortunately, the room gets worse with
clothes etc. thrown in from offstage. This happens again twice.
The child decides he might as well clean up this mess and
proceeds to do so. When the room is finally clean, the child is
ready to throw the magic book in the garbage. The child talking
to himself says, "Enough of this Hocus Pocus". More stuff flies
in. The child moans not again !
Musical Genius The announcer makes a flowery introduction about
how fortunate the audience is to have the opportunity to hear
the splendid vocal group about to perform. After the
introduction, the group marches onto stage and lines up across
the front. The announcer states that their first number will be
that appealing ballad "The Little Lost Sheep". Following a
short musical introduction, singers open their mouths and
produce a long, loud "Baa-a-a".
Musical Toilet Seat Salesman A scout is a door to door salesman, selling Musical Toilet
Seats: If you have some cardboard make props like toilet seats.
Salesman approaches each home knocks on the door and sells the
Salesman: "Good morning sir, I like to show you the newest
thing in electronic technology. My company has developed the
new musical toilet seat. Would you be interested in buying this
modern day marvel?"(ham this up, plead beg, ect. be a door to
door salesman) Customer 1: "Do you have one that plays Dixie?"
Customer 2 asked for "Eat the Rich" . Customer 3 asked for
"Star Spangled Banner" Salesman, I sure do, Here it is, I hope
you like it. I'll come back tomorrow to make sure you are
The next day the Salesman goes back and asked of each customer:
How did you like the musical toilet seat.? Customer 1: "It was
great, it played dixie and I sat there with a bucket of fried
chicken enjoying each note. Customer 2: "It was great. I
listen to the music while I read a copy of the Rolling Stone
magazine." Customer 3: "I hated it, It just did not work out.
Salesman responds to Customer 3: "we have never had an
unsatisfied customer, what went wrong? Customer 3: " It's that
music. "Every time I sit down on the toilet, it starts playing
the Star Spangled Banner and I have to stand up again!"
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