The Skit Library V

A Compendium of Skits from various sources.
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Vampire Snack

Scene: One vampire, standing onstage, takes a can marked "blood", pours tomato juice from it into a glass and drinks it. The second vampire enters.

Vampire #1: Mmm. Delicious. Vould you like some?
Vampire #2: no, thanks. I couldn't drink another bite.
Vampire #1: So vat's new.
Vampire #2: Nothing much. I just saw a poor old bum begging on the street corner.
Vampire #1: You did. Vat did he say?
Vampire #2 He vanted me to help him. He said he hadn't had a bite in days.
Vampire #1: So what did you do?
Vampire #2: Vat else? Naturally, I bit him!

The Viper is Coming

An office setting with a boss and an assistant who runs in and tells the boss that his just received a message that the Viper is coming. The boss get's very agitated and upset repeating the assistant's message. Several others come in repeating the same message. They are all in a state of panic when the last person comes on stage with a squeegee and a sponge announcing, "I'm the vindov viper. I've come to clean your vindovs. Vhere do I start."

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