The Skit Library R

A Compendium of Skits from various sources.

Reggie and the Colonel

Characters: Reggie, big, dumb, Bermudas, high socks, safari hat, glasses, down on nose, moustache, carries gun in front of him. Colonel:short, limp, monocle, no gun, just small knapsack, has cane. Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking pronounced English accent. Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie, look... Did you see it, Reggie ?????? Reggie: See what??! No, no, where, where ?? Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a beautiful condor, 8 foot wing span, beautiful colors. Reggie: No. I didn't see it. Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer attention. (They continue walking). Colonel: Did you see it, Reggie? Reggie: No, what? Colonel: A spotted Zebra...Wish you'd pay closer attention. Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie?? Did you see it? Reggie: No I missed it ... what was it? Colonel: An ooh-aah bird. Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh aah bird?? Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays a 3 pound egg, like this: Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh-aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (face lights up). (continue walking). Reggie: Whispers to audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend like I saw it. I'll fool him. Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it! (excited) Reggie: I saw it, I saw it! Colonel: Then why in heaven's name did you step in it? !!!

Restaurant Minutes

The scene is two guys enter a greasy spoon type of restaurant that has a customer and a grill type cook with a stained apron. The cook says that all they have is soup and a hot dog. The first man says he will take the soup and the other man says he wants the same. The cook tells them if one wants the soup the other has to have the hot dog. The second man agrees and asks to have mustard put on the hot dog and the waiter leaves. The third asks if they steal, referring the cook. The first man says the cook will steal your shirt off your back if he could. The first & second man get their order, the cook dropping the silverware, then wiping them off with his dirty apron. Second man tells the cook that he wanted mustard on his hot dog. The cook squeezes mustard off his apron onto the hot dog. First man says that there is a fly in his soup. The cook retrieves the fly out of the soup, squeezing it, telling the fly to spit it all back. The third man disgusted, makes a comment and walks out without his pants. His pants have been stolen.

Russian Pianist

The world renown Moresofi Vodka is introduced to perform his original composition Chopinsky Stickovich. He plays Chopsticks.

Return to Index