The Skit Library R
A Compendium of Skits from various sources.
Reggie and the Colonel
Characters: Reggie, big, dumb, Bermudas, high socks, safari hat,
glasses, down on nose, moustache, carries gun in
front of him. Colonel:short, limp, monocle, no gun,
just small knapsack, has cane.
Scene: Walking in place through darkest Africa, speaking
pronounced English accent.
Colonel: (excited, jumping and pointing with cane) Reggie,
look... Did you see it, Reggie ?????? Reggie: See
what??! No, no, where, where ?? Colonel: Oh, Reggie, It was a
beautiful condor, 8 foot wing span, beautiful colors.
Reggie: No. I didn't see it. Colonel: Wish You'd pay closer
attention. (They continue walking). Colonel: Did you see it,
Reggie? Reggie: No, what? Colonel: A spotted Zebra...Wish you'd
pay closer attention. Colonel: (later) Did you see it, Reggie??
Did you see it? Reggie: No I missed it ... what was it?
Colonel: An ooh-aah bird. Reggie: Ooh-aah bird. What's a ooh
aah bird?? Colonel: An ooh-aah bird is a 2 pound bird that lays
a 3 pound egg, like this:
(face lights up). (continue walking). Reggie: Whispers to
audience: Next time I'll say yes - pretend like I saw
it. I'll fool him. Colonel: Reggie, Reggie did you see it!
(excited) Reggie: I saw it, I saw it! Colonel: Then why in
heaven's name did you step in it? !!!
Restaurant Minutes The scene is two guys enter a greasy spoon
type of restaurant that has a customer and a grill type cook
with a stained apron. The cook says that all they have is soup
and a hot dog. The first man says he will take the soup and the
other man says he wants the same. The cook tells them if one
wants the soup the other has to have the hot dog. The second man
agrees and asks to have mustard put on the hot dog and the
waiter leaves. The third asks if they steal, referring the cook.
The first man says the cook will steal your shirt off your back
if he could. The first & second man get their order, the cook
dropping the silverware, then wiping them off with his dirty
apron. Second man tells the cook that he wanted mustard on his
hot dog. The cook squeezes mustard off his apron onto the hot
dog. First man says that there is a fly in his soup. The cook
retrieves the fly out of the soup, squeezing it, telling the fly
to spit it all back. The third man disgusted, makes a comment
and walks out without his pants. His pants have been stolen.
Russian Pianist The world renown Moresofi Vodka is introduced
to perform his original composition Chopinsky Stickovich. He
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