The Skit Library S
A Compendium of Skits from various sources.
School's on Fire Scout wanders through area several times
holding a glass of water: When asked what he is doing, he
replies that the school is on fire. Leader: How do you expect to
put the fire out with a tiny glass of water?" Boy answers, "this
ain't water, it's gas.
Scientific Genius The scene is the launching pad of a large
rocket which can be cut from a large piece of cardboard. There
is an elaborate countdown, but the rocket fails to go off at
zero. All those present inspect it and check on a number of
highly-scientific-sounding devices the supersonic sector wire;
the exhaust fin fanstand; the sub-stabilizer exidizer, etc. All
seem perfect. Finally the smallest boy says: "I've found the
trouble. Somebody forgot to put in the fuel.
Singer A guy comes on stage singing in a terrible voice. He
acts pompous to a friend saying how is such a great singer.
Friend says that he had better quit because of poor health, not
the singers, but everyone elses.
Six Wise Travelers The six wise travelers came to a river and
discuss ways to get across. One of them sees a boy with a boat
and asks him to take them across. the boy says they can use the
boat, but he will not take them across. The travelers all get in
the boat and it sinks. They scramble out of the river and count
themselves, but do it wrong and come up short a person. This can
be done more than once. They tell the boy if he can find the
missing traveler they will give him a bag of gold. The boy
counts them. gets it right, they give him the gold telling the
boy how good he is and that maybe he will grow up to be as smart
as they are. The travelers then jump in and swim across the
Sour Notes The director tunes up the orchestra or chorus and
they begin to make music. One by one each player hits a sour
note. Each time the director gets upset and throws the player
offstage. Repeat until only the accompanist and the director is
left. The director then turns to the accompanist and begins a
solo. The director hits a sour note and the accompanist jumps up
and throws the director off stage coming back on stage with a
smug look on his face, bows to the audience and exits.
Slug Trainers Several slug trainers bring on their trained slug
and deposit it in the stage center. The slug is a person encased
in a sleeping bag. On command the slug performs various trick
such rolling over, leaping in the air slightly, etc. A volunteer
is brought from the audience and is told that the slug is
trained to crawl over the human body. The volunteer lays down
and the slug crawls across him leaving a dribble of water or
brown cotton balls. The trainers apologize and exclaim, "Sorry,
but our slug isn't potty trained."
Soldier In the Battlefield This skit can be played by just one
person, or you can use two. A person in battle dress falls on
the ground moaning that he is about to die. The orderly kneels
over him frantically trying to record his name for the records.
He keeps on asking his name, but he is in too much pain to
bother with his name and keeps on asking for help. In
desperation the orderly tells the soldier that he is dying and
that he needs his name to tell his mother. The soldier reply
that his mother already knows his name.
Spelling Contest Contestants have numbers on their shirts and
the judges have badges to distinguished them from the
contestants. Need a list of spelling words, toy guns (or hand if
necessary) and a trophy. There are two judges and four
contestants. Judge #1 asks are you ready for the annual spelling
contest. The contestants say yes and Judge #2 tells them good
luck and let's begin. The first contestant steps forward misses
the word and is shot by the judge. Second contestant steps
forward, spells the word, the judges confer, answering right.
The third contestant spells the word wrong and is shot.
Contestant #4 comes forward spells his word, the judges confer,
say he is wrong and one raises the gun to shoot him. Contestant
#4 tells the judge wait, he is sure the word is spelled right.
The judges confer again, say the contestant is right and they
are wrong and shoot themselves. Contestants #2 and #4 say that
they guess that means they both win and walk off together with
SPRING Gather to the front of the group some people to be
trees, birds, and babbling brooks. Then ask for a volunteer to
be the most important part, the hero. When he comes to the
front, have him run among the trees. Have a little narrative and
then say; "Maybe the rest of you wonder when we know it's
spring; that's easy, because the sap is running through the
Statues in the Park The scene opens with a statue (boy,
standing still) posed as a famous statue such as The Thinker or
The Discus Thrower. Another person introduces himself as Dr.
Arthritic Kneecap of the University of Amputation and
Mutilation. He talks about having discovered a formula to
revitalize calcium deposits; even would work on this statue he
says. The doctor pours the bottle on the statue and it slowly
comes to life. The statue and the professor talk about being
alive. The doctor then asks the statue what is the first thing
you want to do. The statue says that he wants to kill 5,000
pigeons with his bare hands.
Submarine (Version 1) Get one volunteer from the audience and
the den/patrol lines up sitting in a straight line with the
volunteer at the end. The scout in front (Captain) looks through
his periscope and yells, "Enemy Ship!" which is repeated down
the line. The Captain then issues the following commands which
are repeated down the line: "Fire Torpedo One!...."We
Missed!"...."Fire Two!"..."We Missed!"...."Fire Three!"...."We
Missed Again, You Blockhead"...."Enemy Torpedo Coming our
Way!"...."We've Sprung a Leak"....as the last command is
repeated the next to the last person throws hidden confetti on
the last person in line; the volunteer.
Submarine (Version 2) This version uses a similar format to
format one with the same commands being given, but the following
changes occur: The scouts are standing in a row instead of
sitting. When the command comes to fire the torpedo one comes,
the last person in line says, "I don't know how" which is
repeated upline. The captain says, "Pull the red chain, push the
blue knob" and pulls on the person's nose for pulling the chain
and pushes his chest for pushing the knob. This is repeated down
line. This procedure is repeated for each torpedo firing. When
the captain exclaims "We missed again you blockhead" the crew
jumps up and down and cheers. The captain says, "No, that is
bad", to which the crew hang their head and groan. On the last
command, when the captain finds out they have failed and have
been hit, he takes out a gun (hand like a fist with thumb up and
first finger out) and shoots himself, falling down dead. This is
repeated down the line to the last person who looks at the gun
with a confused expression and says, "I don't know how !"
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